Most people think they lack discipline.
But if you’re honest, that’s not really what’s happening.
You don’t struggle because you don’t want it badly enough. You struggle because every time you decide to change, you try to become the final version of yourself immediately.
And that gap is too big.
I realised this when I decided I was going to the gym seven days a week.
Before that? I was going once every one or two weeks. Sometimes less. But in my head, the woman I wanted to become trained every muscle group twice a week, woke up early, had structure, had control.
So I made the decision. Seven days.
Someone close to me told me, “That’s probably not going to last.”
And I felt offended. I genuinely thought: what do you mean? Don’t you believe in me?
But it wasn’t about belief. It was about distance.
Seven days wasn’t discipline. It was a jump. A massive one.
And that’s when it clicked.
I wasn’t failing because I was lazy. I was failing because I kept choosing systems that looked impressive instead of systems that actually fit my life.
The part nobody talks about
When you make a huge promise to yourself and don’t follow through, you don’t just “fail.”
You lose trust.
Once is fine. Twice is annoying. But after the fifth or sixth time of saying, “This is the new me,” and then quietly falling back, something shifts. You stop believing your own words.
You start thinking maybe you’re just not that kind of person.
That’s how insecurity builds. Not from one bad week, but from repeatedly trying to skip ten versions of yourself in one move.
The bigger the gap between your current behaviour and your planned behaviour, the faster motivation collapses.
Not because you don’t care.
Because you tried to live like someone you haven’t grown into yet.
I didn’t need more discipline. I needed something that fit.
When I actually asked myself why I wanted seven days a week, I realised I didn’t care about the number. I cared about the result. I wanted to train my whole body consistently. I wanted to feel proud of myself. I wanted structure.
So I asked a better question:
What is the smallest realistic way to get that result?
For me, it was Pilates.
Two classes a week. Fifty minutes. Full body. No daily negotiation. No fantasy version of me waking up at 5AM.
And suddenly it stuck.
Not because I became stronger overnight.
Because I stopped pretending I was already someone else.
That’s the shift.
You don’t need a bigger vision. You need a version of that vision you can actually survive.
The illusion that keeps you stuck
There’s another layer to this that people don’t admit.
At night, you scroll.
You watch videos about habits. You listen to podcasts about discipline. You consume routines. You imagine the structured life. It feels productive. It feels like you’re doing something.
You get that small rush of “I’m improving.”
But you’re not.
You’re consuming improvement. Not practicing it.
And consuming feels good because nothing is required from you yet. You don’t have to wake up early while watching a video about waking up early. You don’t have to say no to chips while listening to someone talk about discipline. You don’t have to go to the gym while scrolling gym content.
It creates the illusion of movement without the discomfort of action.
That’s why at night you feel ready to change your whole life.
And in the morning, when the decision actually appears, it suddenly feels heavy.
Because now you have to act.
You don’t need another video about building habits. You don’t need another aesthetic routine. You don’t need another speech about discipline.
You need to notice the moment the choice appears - and just do it.
That’s it.
Not dramatically. Not perfectly. Just do it.
Shrink the gap
Keep the big vision. That’s good. You need to know where you’re going.
But stop trying to live like her tomorrow.
Build her in steps that don’t destroy your confidence.
Two workouts instead of seven.
One habit that fits your schedule.
One kept promise.
And repeat it long enough that your brain stops seeing it as foreign.
You don’t become consistent by hoping harder.
You become consistent by making the gap small enough that you can cross it - and then crossing it again the next day.
